Category: Uncategorized

As much as I would love to talk about sexual abuse in females, and I will. The topic of sexual abuse in males, is one that particularly interests me, and somewhat triggers an emotion within me.

I cannot begin to imagine how one feels when they feel like the privacy of their body has been invaded, the thoughts that feel their head against the gender responsible, and the struggles of anxiety and depression they’re forced to deal with alone.

Because god forbid they come out in public to blurt out such nonsense about their bodies being touched against their will.

It’s quite saddening, the sort of judgmental society we live in, because a society obviously isn’t made up of spirits. It’s actually made of people like you and I .

And being a part of that judgmental society doesn’t happen in a day. It begins with the dirty looks we cast as young teenage mothers, that hawk on our streets. Their babies draped on arched backs that have known suffering.

The stigmatization of those we term as scraggy and unkempt, because of their worn out clothes.

The little gossips we make about the lady with a car,who lives in one of the big houses, but hasn’t semed to secure herself a Man to complete the equation. We may not realize it, but we aren’t innocent of this society. If anything, we make it what it is.

The truth is, Men get raped, Men get sexually harassed and abused, Men are victims of sexual predators, whether we choose to accept this or not, out of pure ignorance or just plain foolishness, doesn’t dispute the fact that it’s real.

When it comes to matters involving sex, there is this illiterate mentality most of us possess. The question of, how can a man be raped? Is he not a man? We believe men are more sexual than women, hence every sexual experience the male gender is involved in, was one he wanted to happen, or very much initiated.

To most of us, the word “consent” in sex or intimacy is foreign, or nonexistent when being used by a man.
Do I blame them for such thoughts? Yes and No. Yes because I feel as an adult, you should be able to filter out what’s right and wrong.

You should be able to take your own stand on delicate matters like this. Your thoughts and beliefs shouldn’t be based on what a group of people who call themselves “society” deem as proper. You should be your own person.

No because, we have been brought up in a system that tells men what they can be, and what they can’t be. A system that says to men “this is how you should feel, or handle emotions”. Any other way is not manly.

A system that keeps producing a long line of hurt and damaged men. Incapable of loving themselves, talk more of another, and later we wonder where we went wrong?

Sexual Abuse in males is real. Little boys get molested by that aunty that lives next door, the tall uncle by the street, even by their dearest pot bellied uncles, and their Ogas wives.

These things happen, and they are forced by ”what will people say?, society’s accusing laughter, echoes of people calling their experience lies, and the possibility of having a forever bruised ego that dents their masculinity, to keep quiet.

They grow up, and act like it never happened, some realize only when they’re adults what was done to them, but they never speak about it.

I mean,what would it matter anyway?

People would only say things like; Sorry oh, Chaii yaa, Nawa oh. Then comes the team of stupid people and their insensitive remarks, “Ah ah how did it happen? Aren’t you a man? Are you sure you were raped? Hmmmm oh, raped ke! How can a woman take advantage of you eh? It’s never heard of oh! Don’t say this thing outside where people are oh! E get as E be.

And you wonder if the same energy would have been applied, if it was a girl telling her story. What am I trying to say in essence? Anyone can get abused or raped, and consent is not just for ladies.

We need to start giving these men a chance to tell their stories, without being judgmental or sarcastic about our concerns. We need to listen to these men, and allow them express their emotions, without terming them as “weak or feminine”

There’s absolutely nothing abnormal about men showing emotion or being vulnerable.
I really look forward to a new societal structure, where a man’s struggle and his issues of sexual abuse, are addressed with the same energy as that of women.

Because these experiences can scar one, for as long as they live. They can cause problems in marriages, they can mess up ones sexual orientation, and how they see the opposite gender. We can and we must do better, because like it or not, Men matter too.

There comes a time in the life of a person where they have to choose themselves over everyone except God which I can boldly say no one is…and you know what’s funny?

The fact that a whole lot of people who are too used to the advantages that come with your selflessness, see your decision to do what works for you instead of what works for them as selfish!

Hilarious, I know right???…One thing we must understand as human beings is the fact that misery loves company, and the greatest form of misery life could ever create,comes in the form of people we surround ourselves with.

Everyone loves free stuff…Feeding off someone.. And most importantly people always want to feel some sort of entitlement as far as your life is concerned, and this dear friend is the number one Misery you must avoid like a plague.

I really feel like emphasizing on the feeling of entitlement because a whole lot of people do it without the slightest idea. When someone notices you don’t want to do things their own way, when they see you’re creating your own path in life without their permission or without involving them in the process..They instantly go Haywire!

Like that feeling of entitlement comes surging in like some electricity…And before you realize it, you find yourself apologizing for making plans for yourself…How terribly annoying.

I think everyone basically needs to take a chill pill. We all have our lives ahead of us, if someone doesn’t involve you in their plans respect that decision.

I mean you’ve got a life as well…so instead of going ballistic or trying to hang unto some selfish sense of entitlement, how about making your own life plans and minding your business?

I mean what could actually go wrong if we learnt to do right by ourselves instead of poking our noses and looking for some way to make ourselves relevant in the lives of people who are just trying to LIVE!

Everyone deserves to know who they are, and the purpose for which they exist…And more importantly this is a journey we all must embark on, on our own.

Now this is going to require you giving up a lot of things…because now you’ll have to be living life for yourself and not for the likes of whoever. You’ll have to make certain decisions to create your own happiness, and not the happiness of people.

Because we are solely responsible for the creation of our own happiness and not the happiness of others, ofcourse through some actions we can bring happiness to people, but It’s not solely our responsible,and no one has the right to make you feel Terrible because they aren’t in a good place and you are.

That’s on them. If someone wants to be truly happy? They need to make it happen for themselves, rather than depend on you for that..Everything you do…Every decision you make…do it for you, and for the sake of your peace of mind, and involve God in every step of the way.

Because at the end of the day, You come first. Anyone that’s not comfortable with that? Should geddifok(Bounce). Besides what’s the purpose of a person in your life if they cannot Support your decisions to be the best version of yourself, and your decision to choose your happiness first?

Let’s not forget we all have a life of our own…it’s high time we start minding that life and leave people to figure theirs out in peace.

And always Remember: Except you’re God, or A Spouse Nobody owes you Shit, or information concerning their Lives. DROP THE ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY IN THE BIN.♥️

We all want something out of Life, doesn’t matter how small or unnecessary it is, what matters is we get it. Thing is to a large extent, we are like spoilt kids who expect Life to submit to us. And what do spoilt kids do when they don’t have their way? They Rebel.

The only difference is that, as Adults we Rebel somewhat differently, we don’t need to go around throwing tantrums, or frowning our faces till the parents succumb to our tactics of manipulation.

Rather we use methods such as the “Fox and Tortoise ” I know you’re wondering “what in Gods name is she talking about? I’ll break it down in the simplest way. The fox is a sly animal, the tortoise is a wise animal. These two ought to work hand in hand, but unfortunately We’ve been so blinded by “Wants caress” that our tortoise has become non functional and replaced with plain idiocracy.

When you want something, you’ll go to certain lengths to acquire it. Because want yields an even greater emotion “Desire “.Most People want things not because it’s important to their existence, but because it quences their thirst for the time being, gives them a reason to get their Sly in Action, it’s just like those 5 seconds of highness, Useless to a non addict, but they mean the world to someone who knows their powder well enough. Hence before you know it, they want something else, and the cycle goes on and on.

Economics will tell you Human wants are insatiable, that’s because the eyes can never see Good and accept it as such. Why settle for Good when there is better. You get better, why settle when you can have best? You get Best..Is this all there is? Restlessness builds up, You’re Anxious, You want More, You’re Hungry again for something, but what else could be better than best?

Question is, what does your scale of preference look like though? Because so many of us don’t even know the importance, of organizing such a valuable asset. And even those who do, either due to ignorance or plain stupidity, tend to pick our major priorities from the bottom of the scale, and replace the top with the bottom.

We give Desire so much power over us, that we pull the trigger at Self control, without a blink. We want..We want..and we keep Wanting, and like a bottomless well, we keep sinking into Darkness.

“Need”though, She’s like the perfect first Wife, who has lost her husband to the lady fond of the roadside, at nights so cold. He knows her worth,just as much as he’s blind to it. If he is sensible enough, he will come back to her, and make things right. If he’s not, oh well.. she may just pack her things and Go. Except in this Case, Need doesn’t go anywhere, it waits forever and sadly forever is never enough time for some people.

What you want in most cases, isn’t what you Need. You want a Mug that won’t break, but you buy One that will, because of the butterfly on it?

You need to start Prioritizing Properly, Focus on what’s Important, don’t go chasing after wants that won’t last, when you have unattended Needs. You’re going to be doing yourself, a Huge Favour, Because The world won’t be easy on you. Hell technology will Mock your reason, and drive you to an insane level of dissatisfaction, if you don’t Pay attention to Economics Advice.

Stop chasing After Ephemeral things, who you even measuring shoulders with? Why would you even do that to yourself? There’s a huge difference between what you want and what you need, you can want what you Need, but it’s not so easy to Need what you want. So I ask you, to want or to Need?