Category: Uncategorized

You were probably thinking…Ofcourse it’s Important to want to be relevant in the society. I mean, in the World we live in today, social relevance is very crucial for most persons to get by.

Now I have no arguement here. But what’s also important is, What sort of relevance are you trying to achieve? and by what means are you trying to achieve it?

We live in a generation where even children of 10 or 11 are suffering from anxiety and depression, and we keep asking ourselves…where did we go wrong? What aren’t we doing?

We want to be in the mouths of everyone, to be on the important pages of Influencers and what not, by all means. It doesn’t matter how we achieve that. What matters is that, at the end of the day, we achieve our goal of ” Social relevance”.

The truth is, It’s very saddening the lengths people, especially mid teenagers and adults go to, just to feel “Relevant” on social media.

Now some of us ladies are quite comfortable with showing skin, it isn’t something alien to us. Whereas there are ladies who aren’t, for various reasons. So you see that the girl, who has been a fan of a little thigh, or cleavage here and there next door, has a thousand likes.

And you’re looking at your pictures like? Is it because I’m not showing some of those? Now you go ahead and copy this other girl, making yourself uncomfortable in the process.

Something you should never do in the first place, Because we all need to develop this mindset where, we are comfortable with our personality. If people can’t accept how weird or goofy or boring we are, as some would term it, it’s their loss not ours.

An audience that understands this personality will come along, in other Words, love me or hate me, We Move.

And even when you do this, in most cases..you’re still stuck with the same amount of likes, now here’s what will happen…You will try to show more, because you now have this mentality that, that’s the key to your social popularity, and when it doesn’t work out, your insecurities will come flooding in, your self esteem gets drowned in it, and there goes another teenager sinking into depression.

All for What? A group of persons who don’t know Jack about you, neither are they interested.

You need to bring more than just looks to the Table if it’s Relevance you’re searching for, No one is interested in a pretty face that lacks Brains, So what can you offer?

The Male Gender isn’t left out as well, If anything, young guys go through alot of pressure, and they make alot of mistakes at their teenage and early adult age.

And that’s where you have all the fuss of “I must make am” by fire by force.

You’re so desperate to make it, and Show the Gram that you’ve Landed. But the truth is Do they really Care?

We all know, they really don’t. Those people you want to showcase your Benz to, I’m using a Benz because it’s like the in thing Now, couldn’t care less if you bought one or not. You don’t need their congratulations to feel Relevant, So why are you even taking unreasonable risks, just for recognition that will die with another trend, almost as fast as it came?

That dirty business you want to soil your hands with, to impress strangers, won’t matter when you’re caught. I kid you not, when Instablog or any popular Blog carries your story, it’s still the same audience you want to showcase to, that will throw stones and curses at you.

So before you Rush a process that shouldn’t be, all for some unnecessary “Social Relevance” Ask yourself, is it really worth all the Trouble?

You need Social relevance? You have Talents and skills the world will appreciate. Work on those, reach out to people that would be instrumental to the growth of that legal business. Do things the right way.

I know it’s hard to do the right thing, given the kind of country we live in, but it’s not Impossible.

Unfortunately, we fail to admit we are mostly the cause of all the anxiety, and depression we go through. Going through Instagram pages that make you feel less of person ,because your mates are in a level you’re yet to attain?

Take a break off the media, and work on your esteem, and non dependent happiness. Whatever it is that makes you feel irrelevant? Suffocate it and Take some time to yourself. This is very important.

You’re not built up as a machine. Watch your mental health and space. You have the power to control what you read or listen to, use that to your advantage.

We can do better for ourselves, besides your relevance shouldn’t begin or end on social media. It starts with people around you, make your impact on their lives and allow things to take their natural course. Cut yourself some slack and just “Breathe”.

I’ll start this one with a quick confession, because if there’s one thing I want to establish between my readers and myself is “Trust”.

Ain’t nobody got time for sugar coated stories that are far from reality. So there was this point in my life where I really felt like something was missing from my life🤔

I saw that my friends kind of had someone who would regularly check up on them, to know how they were doing and all of that mushy huspy stuff(whatever that means😶)

And there I was having really bad luck with the Male Gender, so I began to question my worth..A friggin “BABE ” like me, began to ask myself why I wasn’t seeing someone who was genuinely interested in me, and all these questions of ” Am I the problem? Could it be something I’m doing or not doing? Kept popping up

Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy at all, I would sometimes say to myself, not knowing how negative such thoughts were. I mean all I felt I needed at that point in my life was a Freaking Man!

Was that too much to ask for? Now let me cut this near story off, and go straight to the point.

Truth is, there really was a vacuum in my life, but it had totally nothing to do with a MAN.

I wasn’t doing so many things with my life, I wasn’t writing or reading new books like I used to, Neither was I trying to create new cloth designs like I had always told myself I would.

What am I trying to say in essence? There is so much more to us women, than the presence of a Man in our lives. And it’s important to understand that what you invest your thoughts in and energy into matters alot.

Invest all that Man hunting energy and attitude into that degree you’ve always wanted to pursue, that trade you’ve always wanted to learn, that business you’ve always wanted to start, Invest in Yourself, because no one can ever do as much as you can for yourself in all ramifications( So water yourself like the growing plant you are)

Develop this mindset where your worth /value is not based on the presence of anyone that isn’t God in your life. You’re a strong, independent Smart Woman, say it to yourself everyday and mean it by your actions.

Become indispensable to people around you, work place, at home, wherever you find yourself. Be the person that people run to for advice on life, business and what have you. The person they trust to always deliver.

Invest in yourself daily, get Creative with your Mind. Let your dreams and aspirations be bigger than they expect. Let your goals be what people call, Impossible to achieve.

Dream, I assure you it doesn’t cost a dime to. At the end of the day if a sensible Man comes, One that Can add Meaningful value to your life as you can to his life..Fine and Good.

If He doesn’t, life goes on, whatever will be will be. Find A way to be happy independently and try to “LIVE” without worrying about things that don’t really matter.

I mean, Life is too short to not be happy, at the end of the day, when you’re old and Gray you’ll realize that you were fretting over nothing. But it’s my prayer we don’t wait that long to realise this.

Thank you so much for your time😘

If there is one thing life has taught me, it’s that everything that happens is for a reason, and life is definitely not something to be rushed.

When I was like 2 years younger, I really wanted to become a motivational speaker someday, it was like this big dream I had, I would imagine myself in front of a large crowd, speaking to them and how they would all be quiet,not even a whisper would be heard.

Because whatever I was saying to them was very much important to their existence. Now don’t get me wrong, that dream hasn’t changed but the manner in which I planned on going about it did change.

Because, over time I’ve learnt that the fact that breakfast is an important meal, that shouldn’t be missed doesn’t mean that people who miss it do it on purpose. Some might be saving their pockets for dinner, which is all they can ever afford in a day.

Now, does this mean they are ignorant of the importance of breakfast? No they aren’t, as a matter of fact they will have it wihout hesitation, if it were offered to them, but unfortunately some people don’t get that chance.

Most times when I hear motivational speakers speak, there are particular advices most of them love to give out to people, and it goes like “Go out of your comfort Zone”, “Travel and explore places” “Go out and meet new people”

These are excellent advice to give,especially to we young people who are yet to see the world in it’s true beauty. But one thing they leave out of the equation, is the How?

How are these people supposed to travel the world, when they barely have money to feed? Some people might have been hotspoted by someone, in order to use Instagram, hence giving them an opportunity to come across such videos, some might be using their last Data, to watch these motivational videos. Now these people expect to feel better after watching these videos which they may feel to an average extent. But before you know it back to square one, they are more sad about how things aren’t going so well in their life, the pressure of not being successful at their age kicks in, and a whole journey of possible depression sets in.

I mean, how on earth are struggling persons expected to travel and leave their comfort zone and meet new people? when they aren’t sure of where bread will come from tomorrow? If it were that easy I probably would be somewhere in Europe or wherever that isn’t my country chilling and meeting new people..What am I saying, We all wouldn’t be in this country!

I know these motivational speakers only mean the best, but I also need people to not feel pressurised about leaving their comfort zones, I need them to know that it is perfectly Fine if they are still trying to figure things out for themselves in the environment they are in. Changes require certain things, in this case it requires Money, what happens then if such money isn’t available? Does it mean you can’t do better or be better?

We all have different stories, and one thing I do know about story telling is” No one likes an incomplete story” So what exactly is the rush? Do not let the pressure of what society presents take control of your actions.

Yes, your mates are catching flights and living their best life, but when did living your best life solely depend on planes and vacations?

It’s your life, choose happiness no matter how things may be going. Happiness is where the heart is, and last I checked, your heart is always with you. Your best life is determined on how awesome you make it to be, no matter where you are or what you have at the moment.

One step at a time, I really hope we learn to live our best lives without material possessions, so when we indeed acquire them, they become additional bonus. No I’m not saying don’t aspire to make money(the right ways of course) but instead let your happiness not depend entirely on it.

Redefine the term”living my best life” for yourself rather than owning another person’s definition of life and making it yours. What works for A rarely works for B.

And it’s my hope and prayer, that at the end of the day, we all learn to be patient wih ourselves and the process. You know what they say “nothing good comes easy”.

Now I feel like a motivational speaker lool, the irony. Anyways I would love to keep typing, but I have to stop here. I hope the persons who need to read this, eventually stumble upon it.